Monday night I attended the Drammy’s with Hot Toddy. When he invited me, I immediately accepted because of Toddy, the potential for an award and I knew it would be fun.
However, I quickly realized how great it would be to be around all those actors…all those actors…hmmm… There’s bound to be one fun lesbian actor in the bunch who's single. That might be fun. Dating an actor. I’ve met so many through Hot Toddy and I have yet to meet one that I haven't liked. They’re a great group of people.
I clearly had my own agenda once I thought it through.
I had planned what to wear and try as I might to get to Auburn Aries’ day care to pick her up and make it home in time to change and hook up with Toddy at The Vortex, it didn’t work.
I ended up dropping Aries off at a friend’s house who lives nearby and drove directly to Todd’s wearing the casual clothes I wore to work (my Levi’s and a blue and white striped Eddie Bauer pullover and Nikes)
Yes, I was about to attend an evening function with a huge ballroom full of actors who care a great deal about their appearance and I would be in my sneakers. My gawddamn sneakers. Furthermore, most of Hot Toddy’s band of brothers are gay men… which makes it even worse. Gay men are SUCH snappy dressers. They put us lesbians to shame most of the time!
Now, granted most of these people have seen me without makeup, in a Mariner’s cap doing the Patron happy-dance, but that’s not the point.
My best friend could have potentially won an award and could have chosen to thank me, Auburn Pisces, for my undying love and support (yeah, and Maker's Mark might be available in the drinking fountain). The crowd could have all turned to get a glimpse of this wonderfully loyal, supportive friend and there I’d be, decked out in my dyke wear (minus the boots).
He could have and they could have but they didn’t. And though I am sad Hot Toddy didn’t win an award that night, I am also grateful. I would have been mortified had anyone noticed me.
On the one hand, who am I kidding. I was cruising through the Crystal Ballroom with a 6’6” blonde-haired, blue-eyed actor wearing a black cowboy hat, black shirt, Levi’s and black boots. I was nowhere near as invisible as I’d like to think I was. He looked hot, confident, ten feet tall and bulletproof and everyone noticed him.
On the other hand (truth be told) I'm sure I wasn't even noticed. But that doesn't eliminate feeling so self-conscious about my attire.
My saving grace was this: While having a smoke and a drink just the two of us, I said, “Look at the bright side Toddy, if anyone asks who Auburn Pisces was you can say ‘she was the one in the blue and white striped pullover’. I’m certain everyone will know who you were talking about.”