I stood at the back steps of our building today and had a smoke. I stood, leaning against the blue pipe handrail, with the sunlight delicately kissing my face, my skin. I stood, eyes shut for a brief moment and tried to breathe. As I opened my eyes, I noticed all of the yellow leaves lying on the ground. They were everywhere. There must have been a million of them layering the ground and the foliage surrounding the trees. As I stood overwhelmed by natures beauty, another leaf detached itself from it's source of life and fell silently to the ground. The only thought that made its way through my melancholy state of mind today was that the leaf fell, much like my heart falls to the ground each time the thought of her crosses my mind. Before the leaf landed, a dozen more fell all at different intervals - each one searching for a new place - not knowing what to expect.
As I looked upon the covered ground, I realized that everyone of those million or so leaves represented each time my heart has broken since she left. I couldn't help but wonder when this pain and uncertainty will end. I felt my eyes swell with tears and as I turned to walk away, one more leaf fell before me to serve as a reminder that I'm not there yet.