Monday, October 30, 2006

Drag Queens, Bat Kisses and a Pony

Saturday night CC Slaughter's threw their annual Halloween party. I didn't go dressed up in a costume. I didn't have the gang joining me. The Boys all had different plans so I ventured out on my own. Golden Boy was planning on being in drag while he tended bar and it was a must see. He's a beautiful man and knowing him the way I do I knew he'd settle for nothing less than impersonating a beautiful woman. I was correct. Golden Boy looked great! He even tended bar in boots that had relatively tall heels. I was impressed.

In addition to seeing Golden Boy in drag, I had the distinct pleasure of seeing my friend JR in drag. Oh my hell. Here was this very tall man sporting a big ass wig and make-up that I never thought he would have worn. He was such a good sport. He had me giggling as I watched he and Golden Boy adjust to life as a women - drinking beverages with a straw; not wanting to smudge their lipstick; complaining about long nails. I really had to laugh when I saw JR's feet and realized he was wearing sneakers with his long black dress. I also had to laugh when Golden Boy pointed out he'd lost a nail. I quickly leaned over and looked into my drink to see if I had inadvertently located the missing fingernail!

There were a multitude of drag queens meandering Saturday night. There were some with big hair, some with overly large fake breasts, there were even some with b.o. so bad it made you throw up a little bit in your mouth. It's called deodorant buddy…check into it.

There was one particular guy with extremely well built arms and upper body wearing a straw cowboy hat and overalls with no shirt. Hot, hot man. Good Lord. He caught the attention of everyone in the place.

It's so interesting to me how the tides have changed. Remember the days of straight men being fit and muscle bound? Remember during that same time period that gay men were...not? My how the tables have turned. Straight men are now those avoiding the gym in most cases and gay men are fit and strong.

Speaking of fit, strong men…segue The Toddtender. My what a yummy human being he is. He walked up wearing a Santa hat, red boxer brief-type shorts and a leather harness. Okay, he had me at the leather harness. Thank you, Toddtender for feeding the leatherwoman in me. He looks great.

I spent most of the evening hanging with Vidal and Bat Girl. Bat Girl…a friend worthy of a sexy blog name I have yet to concoct. Bat Girl and I went on a date once. It was only the one date. Golden Boy set us up. As it turns out, I'm not really her type and we've become pretty good friends over the last year or so. She and I talk on the phone from time-to-time and we text. She and I sat laughing and joking over the course of the evening until we ended up in the Rainbow Room at CC's (it's the quieter back bar).

This conversation led to that conversation led to kissing and then kissing some more. Good gawd that woman can kiss. I've been out with Hot Toddy over the years and heard him say things like, "tonight I just wanna kiss a boy." I've heard Young Stud say, "it isn't New Year's unless you make out with someone." I never really got it, just making out with someone for the sake of making out. I can, however, honestly say I have now done it. At one point Golden Boy walked up and stood briefly before walking away muttering that he needed to get away from us before round two of making out started!

I left the bar that night a.) in a great mood and b.) hammered. About the time I realized I had consumed too much Patron I flashed on the time. I had a babysitter to pay and send home.

I walked to my car realizing that I had passed the point that I should be driving. I rarely get drunk. It's just not my MO. I don't like how it feels; I don't like not being in control of myself; I don't like that it lingers there even when I don't want it to; I don't like it. Period. I usually make sure I'm okay to drive since I'm somebody's Mom. But Bat Girl cast her kissing spell on me and I was toast.

I sat in my car for a couple of minutes taking stock of my situation. There was only one thing I could do. I pulled out my cell phone and called the one person I knew I could count on to be there for me. I called Pony.

Pony has proven time and time again to not only be a man of his word, but a true friend in the most fundamental sense. He has, on more than one occasion, called me on my shit. He recently built me a computer that is unbelievably fast. He looks out for Auburn Aries and cares about her and understands that she's a part of me. He viewed being added to the list of authorized people to pick her up as an honor. I trust him with everything.

There are times I know I frustrate him. When I ask for the umpteenth time about Microsoft Money…when I've been amidst a bad depression spell and didn't have much positive to say - he's put up with me. He's been forgiving when I've needed it and conversely brutally honest when I needed it. He has great insight for a man his age. I was about to test our friendship.

At 11:38 p.m. I dialed his cell. When he answered, I was grateful and felt safe. He immediately asked where I was at. I told him. Without even needing to ask, he said he'd be right there. And he was. He probably drove 25 miles round trip to take me home and make sure I was safe. It's only the second time I've ever had to do that. The last time was years ago and Brown Eyes rescued me.

I felt like shit most of the day on Sunday. I had plans with Auburn Aries which required my car but it was still parked downtown. When she asked why it was downtown, I swallowed hard and told her it was because I did something really stupid and got drunk and made the safe choice to ask Pony for a ride. It was the Pony ride that very likely saved me from harm. It was definitely a different Pony ride than I've fantasized nevermind...

If I have a cocktail at home (which is isn't very often), I have one or maybe two. Auburn Aries has never seen me drunk. She's only ever seen me in control. When I told her I had gotten drunk she gasped and said "Oh Momma, are you okay? What was it like?" I explained to her that I hadn't eaten enough, that my stomach was upset and that I felt like vomiting. I told her I had the headache to end all headaches.

I may or may not have done the right thing by being honest with her like that. I seized the opportunity to let it be a growing experience for her rather than lie. When she got frustrated because we had plans and I had no keys and no car, I reminded her that I made a bad choice and didn't pay attention to what my body was telling me and that I was responsible for my actions. All I could do was apologize that my actions effected her and promise her it wouldn't happen again.

I am forever grateful to Pony for looking out for me and being there when I needed him. He has proven once again to be exactly the kind of man I knew he was.

Thank you, Pony, for loving me.

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