Last night I had a date with Sexy Girl. After much deliberation and soul searching about mistakes that I had made, I realized I couldn’t just walk away until we gave this one more chance to succeed. Though there were red flags, I cannot blame her for everything and the need to be accountable for my own actions took over.
I am not an easy person to be with at times. At least I don’t think so. I am a 42 year old woman with an opinion a mile wide and a stubborn streak to match it. Though I am honest to a fault, I can also be quick with the temper and take someone out at the knees before thinking something through. My mouth engages before my brain has time to process and my honesty sometimes hurts those around me.
That night when Sexy Girl upset me, I didn’t talk to her like a sane person would. I stood there with my prior-relationship baggage firmly in hand and blasted her, making her pay for mistakes my exes had made. Though I’m not saying she was innocent in the exchange that took place, we also hadn’t known each other long enough for her to know my triggers.
Rather than explain to her how her behavior was negatively effecting me, I threw her out.
If I were to live my life as though I were dying (Goddess forbid) this would be one of the things I felt I needed to sort out. As a result, Sexy Girl and I recently engaged in conversation and I liked what I heard. Apparently we had both done some soul searching.
Since Toddy has some free time on his hands, he and Thor offered to baby sit Aries for me while on a date with Sexy Girl. What a treat this was for me. I don’t have to pay a babysitter $5 an hour to eat my food and dirty my house. Worst case scenario, I’ll have to put the whiskey glasses in the dishwasher and put the empty Maker’s Mark & Captain Morgan’s bottles in the recycling bin on the deck!
Toddy and Aries and Thor devised a secret plan. A plan she never revealed to me. She was thrilled to see me leave the house.
I went on what proved to be a fantastic date. We laughed. We talked. We communicated about the things that needed to be said. No feelings were hurt. Understandings were made. A do-over was in the works.
Upon returning home, I went in to kiss my little, sleeping angel good night. Except she wasn’t sleeping. She was WIDE AWAKE. Nowhere near sleep. When I asked her what she was still doing awake, she sprung from the bed with excitement coursing through her little body.
She took me by the hand, “Come see Mommy, close your eyes.” I closed my eyes and she guided me down the hall. She flipped on the light in her TV Room and there it was. Her room had been transformed from chaos to a children’s museum. “This was our secret, Momma. Do you like it?”
All I could do was stand there in disbelief. I was moved beyond words. My boys and Auburn Aries spent their evening redoing her room. It was absolutely perfect. For the first time in my life, I wished I were a gay man. Only gay men could have done this room the justice it deserved. I praised her and attempted to put her back to bed.
I walked toward the back deck in search of Hot Toddy and Thor. With the room looking the way it did and knowing what it takes to get it like that, I knew they had to be unwinding with a smoke and a drink. As I cut through the kitchen, I was stopped by a glare. My kitchen had been cleaned as well. I wasn’t sure what to feel, guilt or thankful. Perhaps both were in order.
When I talked to the boys they told me of their evening. They spoke of the fun they had had with Auburn Aries. When Aries called for me as I knew she would, I told her I had been out talking to the boys listening to them tell me how much fun they had hanging with her. She leaned toward me touching her ear, “Are my ears broken or did I just hear what you said?” All I could do was laugh.
Thor and Hot Toddy mean so much to her. They are her family. She trusts them and she loves them.
I had, without a doubt, one of the nicest evenings I’ve had in a while. I was on a wonderful date, the Patron was great, the dinner superb, Sexy Girl was wonderful, I didn’t worry once about my kid or the house, I didn’t have to keep checking my cell phone, Aries bonded with the boys, her TV room was clean, Hot Toddy had cleaned my kitchen. It was an evening I didn’t want to end so I rolled with it until 4:30 this morning.
I have heard some of the stories from each of the three. Good Lord, the stories. But the one thing that sticks in my mind was the validation I received from my best friend. One little sentence. “I have a whole new respect for you, Auburn Pisces. I don’t know how you do it.”
I have a family. With the exception of Aries, they are not my relatives. They are better. They are my blood. Hot Toddy, Thor, The Handsome Prince, The Math Whiz – they have touched my life in a way that is indescribable. We are woven together like fabric, each of them bringing the color my world lacked.
Thank you, Guys for caring so much for me and for giving me one of the greatest gifts anyone has ever given me. A night out and a cleaned house. And welcome to the joys of parenting, you better put your seatbelt on!