Monday, May 02, 2005

No. Missing. Sneakers!!!

7:00 a.m.

Auburn Aries, 20 minutes till we have to leave...

Aries, 10 minutes till we have to leave...

AA: Mommy, I need help combing my hair. There's food or something in it and I can't do it by myself.

AP: How did food get in your hair? If that happens, you need to say something to me right then. I could have thrown your butt in the tub in the amount of time it's going to take me to get this out. What is it?

AA: It was icing from my birthday cake that Gramma M. gave me yesterday. (effing chocolate fudge cake anyway. Cherry Chip would have NEVER done this).

I fight through cleaning and combing her hair.

AP: Now get your sneakers on and your teeth brushed and let's get out of here.

5 - 7 minutes pass as I gather everything and go outside to warm up the car. She yells from the front door:

AA: Mommy, where are my sneakers? I can't find 'em.

AP: Auburn Aries, why would I know where your sneakers are?

AA: I don't know why, I just need help finding 'em..

AP: Good Lord!!

(I search through the house, including Thor's living room, and cannot find them. Instinctively, Auburn Aries decides to put on her Nike's - which I'm certain are probably too small by now - so I won't come unhinged).

AA: Never mind!!! I'll put on my Nike's.

Then it happened. Every reason we've ever had for running late suddenly boils to the top. Aries gets lectured on not picking up after herself, staying in bed too long, not keeping track of her own things, treating me like a maid, yada yada yada. By the time we got out the door I was irritated beyond belief. I shouldn't start my week off this agitated. What the hell.

I felt terrible about starting her day off poorly by yelling at her but for cryin' in the night, she knows how I am by now. She knows this type of shit pushes my buttons. I detest being late. I get up by 4:30 every morning to enjoy the peace and quiet. It's the only time of the day I get peace and quiet - when my time is truly my own. Only to have Little Aub screw with my harmonious vibe. I know she doesn't mean to but...damn.

I owe her an apology for being so hard on her this morning. And I know I need to put some stronger boundaries and structure in place to keep us on track in the morning. It's going to be the only way to make it work. It just makes me feel so Hitler-like. I am true to Piscean form in this particular arena. I'd rather dream about it than do it.

On the flip side, Sunday morning Sexy Girl and I were on the deck having coffee watching Aries play in the back yard. Thor emerged and was engaging Aries in conversation. It's this type of conversation that really makes me feel like such a schmuck for jacking her.

Thor: Aries, where did you get all those blonde highlights in your hair?

AA: I just came that way.


I spent more time with Sexy Girl this weekend. She is amazing. I love being with her. My only hesitation at this point is that she is in a different place than I am. Though I feel ready to date again and would love a steady relationship, I also know how independent I am and how much I like the groove I have worked out for myself. I'm on the take-it-slow-and-enjoy-the-ride plan while she's in a bit of a more advanced state than that I. Any time I've brought up the fact that I am not in a hurry, her feelings tend to get hurt as though I'm trying to pull away.

She's a Capricorn. I'm going to have to study up on this particular sign. Though The Only Astrology Book You'll Ever Need says it's a good match, I have some figuring-out to do. I'm laid back (until I get fired up about something) and I'm thinking the laid back nature of Pisces might not be that to which the planner in a Capricorn is accustomed. But this is the fun part - getting to know each other.

I've sought guidance from Juju who is a Capricorn. And from Carlita whose "hubby" is a Capricorn. They have both shared very insightful thoughts on the subject. Offerings that have actually already helped me.

Any way you slice it, I'm up for the challenge and am having a fantastic time...bad Mom or not!

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