So I’m perusing the CDs I carry in my car in my soft case and realize that I have a Rascal Flatts CD that I haven’t listened to in forever. I’ve worn out their “Melt” CD due to over-use so new material would be a good thing.
I listen once through the entire CD making mental note that there were a couple of songs that I really want my best friend to hear.
Over the course of the next few days, I find I am drawn to one song in particular. A song that makes me think, on a global scale, about my life. I find that every time I listen to the song I find a new poignant reflection that I need to get on paper or in my computer as the case may be.
I find the parallels between Toddy’s life and my own so similar that it truly is as though we are cut from the same cloth.
My reaction to the song evokes different emotions. Sometimes I cry. Sometimes I feel 10 feet tall and bullet proof. I am often moved when I think about how both Todd and I have been through so much emotionally and are able to attribute the strength we now have because we’ve experienced (and survived) those adversities.
I find I cannot wait for him to hear the song.
Tuesday night we got together as you will see from my last post. When we left CC’s, we rode over to Aura together in my car. With pure excitement, I tell him of this song I needed him to hear. I turn up the volume and we both listen intently.
I could feel his energy find peace. It was a “moment.” A Pisces moment in which he was unaware. The significance and the impact this song had on me; this song that I knew was going to move him, we were sharing together. Here were two friends who have become so close and whose lives have existed in parallel when it came to love lost and broken hearts, were about to be guided toward healing just from the power of this song.
I had, over the course of the three days prior to sharing that song with Todd, started composing my next blog in my head. It would be Significant. Inspiring. Therapeutic. Liberating. It would heal my soul. It would be exciting to write knowing that in the darkness following the loss a significant relationship, I could feel the light warm my heart again.
Yesterday, after our night on the town, he sent me a chat requesting to borrow the CD. Said he wanted to make a copy onto a cassette tape. Promised he would return it the next day. For a brief moment I hesitated. I wasn’t quite done with my blog thought process and wasn’t really prepared to be without it yet. But this is my best friend. I can go one day without a silly CD.
I handed him the CD and off he went.
Today I met Ms Karma and Hot Toddy for coffee. The minute his fanny hit the chair he started talking. He was brimming with excitement. His eyes sparkled and his smile generated from his soul.
“Wait till you read my blog” he blurted. “I wrote about the song and the impact it’s had on me. I sat in The Vortex last night and listened to it over and over and…..”
“SHUT. THE HELL UP. YOU. DIRTY. BASTARD” I screamed to myself. “You’ve got to be kidding me,” I thought in complete amazement. “You didn’t just tell me that you blogged about the song and what it represents to you… tell me you didn’t just say that.”
I waited for a response but then realized he couldn’t hear what I was saying. I could hear the words as though I were shouting above the horn of a Semi Truck. I couldn’t move. Someone take my pulse and see if I’m still alive. Ms. Karma…help me. My lips wouldn’t move. I am still alive right? The ringing in my ears was so great and I could do was shake my head like a dog with an ear infection. I felt like a stroke victim.
Five days. Five days I let myself just be and feel and realize. Five days I composed my blog in my head feeling great about what I was feeling. Five days I felt what I had to say was significant. In ten seconds, my friend, The Dirty Bastard, grabbed a bat and pulled a Tonya Harding on me. There I was on the ground screaming, “Noooooo” as he stood there and acted all innocent.
Do you think he even reached down to help me up? Do you think he offered any CPR? Do you think he even looked around for a hot Butch to comfort me in my time of need? Noooooo.
He just sat there all smug and happy with himself and the act of thievery he had just committed.
I hope you’re happy, Toaster Oven. Anything I share now will just be in your shadow while I look like a pathetic copy cat.
I’m never sharing my music with you again! Ever. You suck and I’m telling The Rock you don’t want him anymore! I think I’ll be doing a gay drive-by of my own. Prepare yourself for the Auburn Pisces Evil Eye...