Oak Point Man Gets Creative

My friend, Oak Point Man, sent me an email this morning that made me laugh. It is in response to my post yesterday. I am posting it today because it's worthy of sharing with all of you. It's definitely good for a giggle. His son just turned four and his usual specialty is dinosaurs, their technical names, habitat and eco-system. I've begged him to let me have his charming little boy and he just won't do it. Stingy bugger.

A Story... by Oak Point Man

Inspired by Auburn Pisces' latest "list blog", I title this "How to know if you child watches too much Discovery Channel"

How to Know Your Child Watches Too Much Discovery Channel:

1. When there are 40+ children and just as many parents/babysitters at the library for Kids Day, your child will somehow find a way to be the center of attention.

2. When the Librarian/Kids Day Leader at the library is showing kids books about bugs, your child will know more about said bugs than the Librarian/Kids Day Leader.

3. When the Librarian/Kids Day Leader shows the kids a picture of a beetle, she better not just call it a beetle, because as I state in #2, your child will know more about it than her.

4. When the Librarian/Kids Day Leader asks the kids if they know what the picture is (expecting the answer "a beetle"), she better be prepared, because The Child That Watches Too Much Discovery Channel will quickly identify it as he shouts from the top of his lungs... "It's a Dung Beetle!"

5. When the Librarian/Kids Day Leader says "Dung Beetle?....", The Child That Watches Too Much Discovery Channel will quickly explain the life history of the Dung Beetle... "Yeah... they roll poop into balls and roll it into a hole and they lay eggs in it. The babies have to eat the poop to get out."

6. After much laughter/disgust/shock from the large group, The Child That Watches Too Much Discovery Channel will elaborate with the following: "Sometimes the poop is steamy hot and stinky."

7. After the initial shock wears off, the Librarian/Kids Day Leader will read the caption associated with the photo and meekly reply, "That's right..."

8. After the bug book demo, the Librarian/Kids Day Leader will approach the parent of The Child That Watches Too Much Discovery Channel and ask how he knew that. The Proud Parent will just shake his head and say... "he just absorbs information from the Discovery Channel, I guess."

9. After Kids Day at the Library wraps up... the Proud Parent will take The Child That Watches Too Much Discovery Channel out for an ice cream cone and let him know how proud he is of his smart little boy.

10. The Proud Parent now has to be careful not to let The Child That Watches Too Much Discovery Channel watch any shows on the mating behavior of the spotted hyena.

Oak Point Man, thank you for sharing this with me (and as such, my blog friends). I love you and miss you very much (now that your nursery is taking off and you don't need me anymore *sigh*). You are a very important person in my life - what with being the straight version of Hot Toddy and there is definitely a void in my life where you once were. I miss our coffee and Oak Point Man, Jr. stories every morning. Be well. Love, Aub.