Friday, October 07, 2005

Mission Impossible

Tomorrow is my best friend’s birthday. He’ll be 49. He’s a 49 year old gay boy with no life, no interests, no sense of humor, and no friends.

It’s sad.

He has a blog that no one reads. He’s terribly unattractive and none of the gay boys at CCs think he’s hot. In fact, he couldn’t find a man to love him with two hands and a flashlight.

I’ve tried and tried to be a true and loving friend to this irritating man but he doesn’t make it easy. Occasionally I like to go out and enjoy an alcoholic beverage but he drinks so little that he’s never comfortable in doing so. He’s not much of a social butterfly either. He’s very withdrawn.

Sometimes I just want to get together with a bunch of friends and go sing Karaoke (or watch, in my case) but this tragic, tragic man has no pipes and couldn’t hit a note if he had to.

And the arts. I love to go see plays but unfortunately he’s not well versed in the theatre community. And music…oh my hell…his taste in music is atrocious.

He does, however, know a LOT about cars. You can ask him just about anything and he’ll know the answer. Cars and…women. He knows a lot about women. In fact, just the other day he said to me, “I fuckin’ LOVE boobs.”

I’ll see what I can do to try and make his day special. I just don’t know how successful I’ll be – he’s very hard to please. Hmmph, some people’s kids.

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