Sisterly Love

The following is an exchange that took place Friday morning between me and my sister, Skinny Girl. You can feel the love. (We weren’t serious…just so you know).

Background:

I sent out an email to close friends and coworkers to see if they would sponsor Auburn Aries in Run for the Arts.

The Email Thread:

Morning,

Just wanted to check with all of you and see how you'd feel about sponsoring Auburn Aries in Young Audiences' Run for the Arts. Young Audiences is a non-profit arts in education organization that helps the school raise funding for educational arts experiences, classroom workshops, field trips, artists performances and residencies.

It's a tax deductible donation. They have 45 - 60 minutes (sorry, can't remember which) to run/walk a quarter mile track. You can make a flat donation or a pledge based on the number of laps she completes. The run is on October 21st. Donations need to be collected by November 4th.

I have the form at my desk and would be happy to add you to it if you're interested.

Thanks!
Auburn Pisces


Reply from Skinny Girl:

Hey bunghole - you've still not cashed the check I gave you back in February for one of Aries’ school things. It was for $14.00. What's the deal man?

AP response:

Oh hell fuzzy! What the Sam Hell is going on here?! Horse shit Julie. Like I know where that effing check is at. Add the $$ back into your account. I'm sure I covered the cost and if I find the check, I'll shred it. So what? I lose one gawd damn check and so you're sayin no, you won't sponsor a poor child hungry for the arts? What a bitch!

SG:

Listen here you whore. I have been trying to balance my effing checkbook for MONTHS and it's been hell because of YOU. You want money, I give you money, you don't use money. MAKE UP YOUR EFFING MIND!!!!!!!!! Yeah, I'll give you more money, cash this biotch.

AP:

You dirty rahhhhht. If it was a big gd deal, you'd have called my f*cking ass months ago m*therf*cker - so quit'cher belly achin. And if you'd reread the original email it asks for a GD PLEDGE YOU *SSHOLE so belly up and sponsor my bratty kid. NOW

SG:

Why you lyin' piece-o-shit. I did call your goofy ass MONTHS ago and you said.... AND I QUOTE: "Hmmm, wonder what I did with that check? I'll look for it sis and get back to you". Yep that was the last I heard about that. As usual, I got tossed to the back friggin' burner to simmer all alone. That's it. I'm sick of you sons-a-bitches treatin' me like dirt. Nice. Nice to know I'm at the top of YOUR m*therf*ckin' priority list. Family. Right. Gawd, kiss my white ass!!!

AP:

So, you're in for sponsoring her again then?!?!

SG:

Bah ha ha - okay.