Friday, January 14, 2005

Mommy has to get to the Liquor Store

New Year’s Eve Day was a slow morning. I jumped in the shower at almost 2 p.m. Upon stepping out, I realized that I didn’t have adequate amounts of tequila beverages at my house to celebrate the New Year. It occurred to me that the liquor store might close early with it being a holiday (what do I know). As I got dressed, I asked Auburn Aries to throw some clothes on so that we could “run to the store.”

With the usual slowness of a seven year old watching cartoons, she threw on jeans and gradually became mesmerized by the TV again. Once I had my shoes on and my focus headed toward door, I realized she was still barefooted. I exclaimed, “Aries, put your shoes on, Mommy needs to run to the liquor store before they close!” And I headed off to gather my wallet and jacket.

She put her shoes on and hurried her little butt out to the car.

As we approached the “store” I reminded her that she couldn’t touch anything inside. “I know” she said with an exasperated tone as though she had heard it before (as if). In all honesty, she likes going in there because they rave about her beautiful red hair and always give her suckers.

Obviously, I made it in time!

When I told Hot Toddy this story, he laughed and repeated, “Hurry up… Mommy has to get to the liquor store before they close.” I realized how pathetic it sounded. I, too, laughed so hard I cried (mostly of embarrassment).

He spoke of one of the Yum Yum’s businesses, Balloons on Broadway and a card he has in his shop that shows a little girl telling her mother a story. The caption on the card says, “Monica, darling, that was a lovely story. Now go fix Mommy a martini.”

Since telling him my story, he has teased me about rushing my kid to get to the liquor store and compared me to that card. A well-deserved teasing I assure you – even if just for the comedic value.

Tonight a few of us have plans to attend Cold Comedy Concoction. The game plan is to hook up at The Vortex before leaving for the play. Last night while sitting in C.C. Slaughter’s with the Toaster Oven, I asked him to check the beverage situation at his house for me.

Today while on a break, he lowers his head, smiling and tells me he forgot to check the Margarita inventory. Laughing, I snap my cell phone off my hip and flip it open. “I know The Handsome Prince and The Math Whiz are home. I’ll call them to check it out for me.” Toddy and Ms Karma just laughed at my lack of fear and total disregard for understanding their hectic schedules while they have the furnace replaced today.

The Math Whiz answered the phone.

“Hey you. Could you do me a favor and check out the tequila situation for me?”
“Sure…Wait, it’s not there. Where is kept?”
“Look in the cupboard in the corner bar, lower right hand side.”

Toddy can’t stop laughing. I know the location of things at their house better than they do. That’s either very cool or very pathetic.

“Oh, there it is. You have plenty of tequila.”
“Is is Cuervo or Sauza?”
“That’ll work. Now, can you check out the mix situation in the fridge?”
“Sure. Where is it?”
“Check on the bottom shelf of the door.”
“Oh, there it is. It’s actually a gallon bottle in the bottom of the fridge. It’s about one-quarter to one-third full.”
“Okay, so now tell me what the ice situation is in the freezer.”
“There’s a full bag and a couple of partial bags. We’re okay on ice.”
“So, I’ll pick up Triple Sec and maybe some more mix.”
“What about salt? Is your salt thing full?”
“Yeah, it’s fine.”
Hot Toddy interjects. “Can you tell me if I left any underwear on the sink?!”
“No,” The Math Whiz responds, “No underwear left today.”
“What about socks. Can you tell me how many pair of clean socks I have in my sock drawer?!”
“No, I won’t go check out your sock drawer.”
“Well, Hot Toddy has berated me all day long. So after I drop off Auburn Aries at her Dad’s, I’m coming over The Vortex to have a drink. I’ll just hang out with you and The Handsome Prince and ignore Hot Toddy.”
“Sounds good, we’ll see you tonight. Don’t forget to stop by the liquor store!”
“Oh, I won’t!”

Perhaps Hot Toddy’s Toaster Oven has a reason to laugh...

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