Tuesday, January 04, 2005

Somebody Stuff a Sock in His Pie Hole

I was putting on my make-up Monday morning and listening to the news. It's actually the only consistant time I get to the news each day. News Channel 8 did a segment on George W addressing God knows what. I only heard one sentence of the segment as my mind was a million other places that morning. I often find myself staring at GW and thinking about how ridiculous he usually appears when speaking. All. those. long. pauses. Trying to appear as though everything is so meaningful. Blech. One sentence is about all I can stand most days. Sheesh, that guy is an idiot.

The one sentence I heard him say was "...I stand for Social Security reform..." Then something occurred to me. Something that, to me, was both funny and appropriate. When I go out for Chinese with friends, at the end of the meal we crack open our fortune cookies and share those tiny little pearls of wisdom. As many of you may already do, I add the phrase "in bed" to the end of each fortune. It's silly, but I do it nonetheless.

As I looked at George W and that idiotic, blank stare he has, I realized what needed to be appended to just about any statement he makes...

"I stand for Social Security reform, for straight people."

Is that perfect or what?!!! I actually made myself laugh when I said it. Sad part is, it's true.

No comments: